Community Christmas Spoof 2
Second time around, people! MERRY FOURTH OF JULY! --[[User:Leopardkit|'Leopardkit']][[User talk:Leopardkit|'SunClan Forever!']] 22:35, December 1, 2010 (UTC) Hollyleaf: *walks in with bundles of Christmas lights* Jayfeather: Hollyleaf! You're alive! I can't believe- *sees the Christmas lights* CRAP! It's the Holiday season? Again? Hollyleaf: Yup. But how did you know I had Christmas lights? You're blind! Jayfeather: Simple. StarClan let me see after promising to never tell anybody- *goes blind again* %^!#!!!! Hollyleaf: Cheer up Jay! It's CHRISTMAS TIME! *background Christmas music plays* Come on, ThunderClan! Let's decorate! ThunderClan: YAY! *over decorates* WindClan: *lights go out* Hey! ThunderClan is using up all the power again! WE MUST PROTEST! *puts up giant menorah* --[[User:Leopardkit|'Leopardkit']][[User talk:Leopardkit|'SunClan Forever!']] 22:35, December 1, 2010 (UTC) Merry Hanukkah! It begins today, right? Hollyleaf: *is putting cannibalistic snowmen up on WindClan border* WINDCLAN HAS A !#$%ING MENORAH! Jayfeather: *facepaw* Oh crap... Cannibalistic Snowman: *eyes next victim* Victom: *scooots away* Victim: *is eaten* Victim: *is delicious* Hollyleaf: Let's go spraypaint 'ThunderClan <3 Santa' on their dorky Menorah in HUUUUUGEEEE letters! Jayfeather: What's a Santa? Lionblaze: *is randomly there in snowman suit* What's a ThunderClan? *5 cans of cheeto spraypain later....* Hollyleaf: It's beautiful! Jayfeather: *o.0* Lionblaze: Dudette, you just killed our Christmas tree....Jayfeather said that was my job. Hollyleaf: No I didn't you-wait...that was your job? Lionblaze: Yeah, he called beheading the snowmen and unhooking the lights too fast for me so I got stuck with it. Jayfeather: *facepaw* *5 cans of actual spraypaint later* Hollyleaf: Perfect! *tosses cans in stream* Lionblaze: *dumps snowman outfit in stream* Spottedleaf: *Poofs in* LITTERBUGS! *mauls and poofs* Lionblaze: *nods in approval* It's a clasic 'Maul-and-poof'. Hollyleaf: Shut up! *reads off Menorah* ThunderClan <3 Santa Menorah: *letters say: QRz3Ckn{ kel sUnTR3### Firestar: *poofs in* Let's sing a song!!! Happy hanuka meh friend from me too yoooooouuuuuu. ''*poofs* Lionblaze: *nods in approval while covering ears* It's a classic 'Poof-and-warble'. Hollyleaf: Shut up! Jayfeather: *is sawing off ear* IS HE GONE YET??!?!!?! lol, sorry it's long! ~Arti Hollyleaf: *looks around* ohai Jayfeather. Jayfeather: Oh crap, is it holiday times? When the dumb, annoying-crap Christmas? Lionblaze: that makes no sense...and yes. Sorreltail: GASP. NO. JAYFEATHER. CHRISTMAS IS AWESOME Firestar: *dressed in a santa claus hat* YEAH! MMHMM. -light shoots from the sky- Onestar: *appears* MERRY CHRISTMAS! AS A PRESENT, I KILLED YOUR LEADER. Dovepaw: ... -muahaa...shortnness. 23:46, December 1, 2010 (UTC) Mistystar: Where is RiverClan in this holiday? We should decorate the Island as a surprise! *forms singing choir of apprentices* Apprentices: ''Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer..." Mistystar: *gets the queens to bake holiday cookies* Queens: No, kits and Mistystar, you cannot lick the spoon. Kits and Mistystar: :'( Mistystar: *sniffles from loss of cookie dough* *gets the elders to tell stories about Christmas* Elders: Ok, so there was this Rudolph, a red-nosed reindeer. He had a really, really shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you'd even say it glows- Kit: Like a flashlight? Mistystar: *Licking stolen spoon with naughty kits* Mmmm.... *gets Mothwing and Willowshine to create ornaments with the kits* Mothwing: But I've got Beetlewhisker dying of Greencough in here! I can't go make ornaments... *rethinks* Oh, it's not like he was important, or anything. I mena, he'll get better. Probably. *makes paper stars* Mistystar: *directs the warriors to hang the ornaments* Minnowtail: *falls fatally from tree* Mistystar: Oh, Reedwhisker! You were supposed to be supervising! Oh well. It's not like anyone liked her. Wasn't she like, evil? Cats: What?! Mistystar: Um.... what? Huh? *creates diversion* HEY LOOK! IT'S SANTA! Warriors: WHERE? Kits: Silly! Santa isn't real! Warriors: SHUN!!! SHUN THE NON-BELIEVERS!!!! --[[User:Leopardkit|'Leopardkit']][[User talk:Leopardkit|'SunClan Forever!']] 01:15, December 2, 2010 (UTC) Sandstorm:It's Christmas time? Again? Why are we still having Christmas after the epically epical epic fail called X-mas 2009? Firestar in a Santa Suit:You miss alot dont'cha. Sandstorm:Why are you dressed up like Santa? Firestar:I have my reasons.....Oi! Brambleclaw! Fetch the tinsel! I need to choke people that annoy me! '*poof* Tinsel maker:Sir, I believe that is not what tinsel is used for, see.... Firestar:BRAMBLECLAW!!!! I NEED THAT TINSEL!!!!! Ivypaw:Oh, touchyyyy! Firestar:*sticks tongue out* *Hollyleaf bursts into camp* DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLYYYYYYYYYYYY FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Molekit:Black cat is scary!! Poppyfrost:Don't worry, she's not real, she's my pretend best buddeh! Kits:*hide* Snowtail Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow! 00:44, December 3, 2010 (UTC) Leopardspot: MERRY CHRISTMAS! Firestar: OHMAHGAWRSH, AN OC! SOMEBODY ADOPT IT INTO THE CLAN! Brambleclaw: Can you stop that? Firestar: Stop what? Brambleclaw: Adopting EVERY CAT into the clan? Firestar: Why not, it's fun! Look Brambleclaw, I got you a present! (Shoves a box towards him) Brambleclaw: O.o It's a box of Kittypets. Kittypets: OHAI. HAPPY EASTER. Firestar: THEY'RE ALL WARRIORS NOW! HERE, EAT ALL OF OUR FOOD! Kittypets: (eats all food) Leopardspot: Kthxbai. (gets back in time machine) I'm back! Happy Holidays! Leopardspot Where's my Fireclaw? 01:49, December 3, 2010 (UTC) Mousefur: Firestar! Why are their kittypets in my nest! Did you accept new cats- Why do you have a beard? Firestar: I'm Santa! Ho, Ho, Ho, Happy Easter- Wait, that what I say, right, little elves Irritable Kits in Elf costumes: Yes, Santa Claws. Now can we go play? Firestar: Oh, no, little elves! We have to make toys for all the kittypets in our clan- Irritable Kits: *mauls* Kittypets: Ahh! Santa has a a scratch on him! YOU VICOUS WILD CATS! *run away screaming* Mousefur: Mission Accomplished. *goes to complain more to apprentices* --[[User:Leopardkit|'Leopardkit']][[User talk:Leopardkit|'SunClan Forever!']] 20:58, December 3, 2010 (UTC) '*meanwhile, back at the ranch in SkyClan...* Leafstar: I'm confused. Billystorm, if you're in love with me, shouldn't you leave your Twolegs? Billystorm: Look, I've told you, that's not relevant right now! Anyway, I was trying to esplain about this thing. It's called Christmas... '*meanwhile, back at the other virtual ranch, aka ThunderClan...* Dovepaw: *is perfect* Firestar: You know, I'm sure there must be more of a point to Christmas! *starts thinking deeply* Sandstorm: Well, you don't have to be so philosophical about it. Firestar: Yes I do! I'm StarClan's chosen! *mauls* Dovepaw: *is perfect* Spottedleaf: *poofs* Firestar, are you being cruel and violent towards the other members o0f your Clan? StarClan might have to remove their blessing! Firestar: She doubted my powers and connection to you, Spottedleaf. *sobs* Spottedleaf: Oh, well that's alright then. *poofs* Dovepaw: *is perfect* Mousefur: So, Firestar, about those apprentices. Firestar: Hmm? What? *ignores Mousefur and stares at the sky* Mousefur: They were wailing all over my bedding because you promised to make them warriors yesterday, and you didn't! Firestar: Lighten up, you old biddy! It's Christmas! Mousefur: *stares* Brambleclaw: *stares* Dovepaw: *is perfect* Firestar: Fine! *performs warrior ceremony* Now you have to sit vigil. Cloudtail: So the rest of us can get a good nights sleep! Firestar: *warning glance* Cloudtail: What? It's my line! Or haven't you noticed that I've said it at every single warrior ceremony since my own? Firestar: *sighs* What did I do wrong with that kit? Hollyleaf: *flies around on broom, cackling* It's the Dark Forest version of a magical sleigh! Dovepaw: *is perfect* Ivypaw: *is not...* [[User:Zaffie|'ASH!!']][[User talk:Zaffie|''' She must return, or I will threaten you with rhinos!]] 07:54, December 4, 2010 (UTC) The next day... Firestar: ThunderClan, our gingerbread-clan camp-making-kit has just arrived! ThunderClan: Yay!!!! Firestar: You will all be assigned a job in helping to make the gingerbread house. My job is the eater of the gingerbread house. All the apprentices will bake the gingerbread. Graystripe and Sandstorm will put the icing on. Brambleclaw, you will cut the gingerbread into a clan camp shape. The kits will not be allwoed to make it. The queens will supervize the kits. Everyone else will stick the candy on. Is that clear? Graystripe: Hey, why do you get to eat it? Firestar: Because I am the awesomest perfectest amazingest cat that ever lived! The Erin Hunters: Of course youare Firestar! That's why everyone hates you now, because you're too perfect! Firestar: *muttering* Stupid twoleg, go away! The Erin Hunters: *is offended* WindClan: We have come to steal your gingerbread! ThunderClan: It is ours! WindClan: Fine! Brambleclaw: Hey, isn't this gingerbread thing meant to be a spoof? Firestar: Yep. Brambleclaw: Then why isn't it funny? Firestar: For the trillionth time Brambleclaw, everything with me in it is always funny, because i am the funniest awesomest perfectest amamzingest cat ever! Oh, and I'm the best singer! In fact, I'll sing for you now! ThunderClan: Evacuate the area! Firestar is about to sing! Firestar: *Takes huge breath and starts singing in a screechy voice* Rudolph the red-nosed warrior, had a very shiny nose!!!!! ThunderClan: *Faints* The end! Sorry that it was so suckish--[[User:Mistysun|'''Happy ]][[User Talk:Mistysun|'Holidays!']] 17:38, December 4, 2010 (UTC) Jayfeather: Look everyone! It's Neon Trees! The rest of the Clan cats: *gasp* Daisy: OMG! A female drummer! That's, like, the definition of feminism! Elaine Bradley: *facepalms* Let's just play "Animal," shall we? Tyler Glenn: Of course. *band begins to play while the cats dance* Dustpelt: It's not really a Christmas song, but I'm feeling pretty merry now that Firestar's not singing! Tyler Glenn: *singing* Oh oh, I want some mooore, oh oh, what are you waiting foooor? Take a bite of my heart tonight... Firestar: You know what? Next year, I'm hiring Cee Lo Green, and I bet you can guess what song he's gonna be singing to you! Had to add my own little part to the end. :P I'm not sure if Misty meant it to be THE end...Leopard, you can keep this going, but if not, great spoof, guys!--Shaf Girl 21:09, December 4, 2010 (UTC) Mysterious Rouge Mail.... cat: Letter to Blackstar, Firestar and Onestar Leaders: OH BOY! IS IT CHOCOLATE?? Mysterious Rogue Mailcat: It's from Mistystar (A.N.: Nearly put Mistysun! Haha Misty! You're the leader of RiverClan!) Leaders: Ah, crap! Are we in legal trouble again? *opens letter and reads* Blackstar: *finished first* Hey! A Holiday celebration at the Island! Cool! Onestar: *finished 2nd* I know, right! It's gonna be totally awesome! Right, Firestar? Firestar: One sec. Still reading. Is it "D-Dare Leaders?" or "Dear Layders?" or "Day Leadars?" Onestar & Blackstar: *facepaw* --[[User:Leopardkit|'Leopardkit']][[User talk:Leopardkit|'SunClan Forever!']] 22:15, December 4, 2010 (UTC) (Misty ended it? I was unaware.... Usually we keep it going until like, New Years or a little before, right?) Mothwing: OMG the Christmas party is tonight and we haven't decorated anything!!!!! (starts yelling at everybody and sticking mistletoe everywhere) Mistystar: (is snoring) Minnowtail: Don't forget the mistletoe! RiverClan: Aw, foxdung, she's back. Mothwing: (takes break from running around and screeching) You stupid (beep) you can't hang that there! That's where the radio goes! (hangs radio from branch with 60 feet of tinsel) Radio: (squashes Pebblefoot) Mothwing: Minnowtail! Look what you did now! Minnowtail: Ah, I always get Pebblefoot in trouble. He'll be okay. Pebblefoot: I'm alive again! Minnowtail: See? Mothwing: ERROR DOES NOT COMPUTE ERROR Willowshine: Why are we hanging mistletoe anyway? Minnowtail: Well, every time somebody falls in love with a cat from another Clan, one of them is always a RiverClan cat. Think about it: Oakheart, Silverstream, Feathertail: the only non-RiverClan pairing was CrowxLeaf. RiverClan: *gags* Minnowtail: You see what happens when we don't hang up mistletoe? Willowshine: (is unknowingly sitting under mistletoe) Meanwhile, back at SkyClan, Leafstar: FLY SKYCLAN FLY! SkyClan: We already told you, we can't fly! Leafstar: On Cherrytail, on Sparrowpelt, on Sharpclaw on Mintfur! On Patchfoot, on Tinycloud, on Frecklewish and Rockshade! SkyClan: (beep) Billystorm: I'm starting to question whether this was a good idea or not... Meanwhile, back at ThunderClan, Jayfeather: Hey, has anyone seen Hollyleaf? 22:29, December 6, 2010 (UTC) Hollyleaf: *is stealing RiverClan's cookies they left for Santa* Thornclaw: In the true spirt of Christmas.... GRAB EVERYTHING AND RUN! *flees with bag full of cookies with Holly* Hollyleaf: Why the heck are you paired up with me? Is this gonna end up as some messed up Thorn/Holly thing? Or crackfic or what? Thornclaw: Ew that's creepy. I'm like, 20 years older than you. That's really stalkerish. So, um.... to end this, let's go kill WindClan... or something like that. Hollyleaf: Cool! *gets dynamite and My Little Ponies* WindClan is going down! (A:N: We must unite, So we can fight! Turn the battle around! Time's running out... :D AVPM <3) WindClan: Dynamite, we can handle tha- OHMIGOSH MY LITTLE PONIES! WE'RE GONNA DIE! *dies* Why aren't you writing, people of Delaware, Narnia and Pigfarts? We're still going! You can write more than one entry per Crackfic!--I'm ready for Christmas! 03:30, December 8, 2010 (UTC) (MEANWHILE, in the Dark Forest...) Tigerstar: Hey, Darkstripe? Darkstripe: Yes, Tigerstar, my leader, my main man, my homie, my- Tigerstar: Shut up, wear this antler. WE'RE GOING TO STEAL CHRISTMAS. Darkstripe: Wait, what? Tigerstar: This is a reenactment of the classic, How the Grinch Stole Christmas! I'm the Grinch, you're the Reindog. Darkstripe: Awesome. Tigerstar: Now, I'm going to sit on this sleigh dressed as Santa. You pull the sleigh. Darkstripe: OKAY! Breezepelt: What do I do? Tigerstar: Nothing. Go home. Breezepelt: Fine. Tigerstar: ONWARD! Automated Sleigh Voice: We have arrived at "Thunderclan Nursery." Tigerstar: Excellent. Darkstripe, hold this bag! I'll start taking down decorations. Cherrykit: Santy Claus, what are you doing? Tigerstar: NOTHING! I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING! GO BACK TO YOUR DEN! Darkstripe: (whispers in Tigerstar's ear) Tigerstar: Oh, right. (ahem) Why, dear little Cherrykit, a light was out in this tree! I'm taking it back to my workshop to- Cherrykit: HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S SANTA CLAUS! (Thunderclan wakes up) Tigerstar: OH BOY, HERE WE GO. Sorry, no AVPM references. Oh, wait! Tigerstar: So, Briarlight, tell me, Team Edward or Team Jacob? Briarlight: I'm Team Firestar! Tigerstar: FIRESTAR AIN'T A FICTIONAL CHARACTER. Santa Claws is coming to town! Be a good kitten! 02:09, December 9, 2010 (UTC) (Sorry, forgot to log in.) Erin Hunter:Uh Yes he i-is Tigerstar:No he isn't Erin:Yuhuh Tiger:Nuhuh Kinkfur:Is it just me, or are they really annoying? Silverclaw:It's Cwismas! Fowgive and Fowget! Fiyahbot:Must. Wrap. Up. O. C. For. My. Lovely. Sand. Bot's. Christmas. Clan:*Steps away quickly* Sandbot:*dies* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Mistystar:What was that? ThunderClan:Brambleclaw on sugar. Squirrelflight:'*facepaw* He found the Christmas cookies. Brambleclaw:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Daisy runs into camp* There's a monster!! White beard! Red suit! Fat guy! He chased me for two feet! *dies of exhaustion* Clans:Cellllllebrate good times come on! *dance* White bearded Red suited Fat Guy:MERRY THANKSGIVING!!!! HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!! Tigerstar:*still arguing* Nuhuh Erin:Yuhuh Tigerstar:Nuhuh Erin:Yu- All Clans+All OC's+Kittypets+loners and rogues+Tribe cats:SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snowtail Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow! 20:30, December 9, 2010 (UTC) Erins: You can't tell us what to do! Firestar: I tell everybody what to do! Erins: *publish Firestar's death scene* Firestar: *dies* All Clans: *cheer* Erins: Merry Christmas everyone! Sandstorm: Well, he didn't like me anyway. ThunderClan: WAIT A MINUTE!!!! Squirrelflight: If Firestar's dead... Sorreltail: Then that means our leader is... Brambleclaw: *is doing something disgraceful to the name of cats* ThunderClan: *beep* Jayfeather: *doesn't see mistletoe hanging above him* Why do we even have Christmas? Something like this always happens! `*random jingling sound* *SkyClan flies into view* Leafstar: WE MADE IT! SkyClan: Hooray... Billystorm: ...yeah, it was definetely a bad idea. Leafstar: PRESENTS FOR EVERYONE!!! 21:36, December 10, 2010 (UTC) Billystorm: WHERE'S OUR PRESENTS?? Leafpool: Crap we totally forgot! To escape embarrassment, LET'S FLY TO PIGFARTS! Clans: YAY! Rumbleroar: RUMBLEROAR! Draco Malfoy: He's a lion- who can talk! Clans: Oh. My. Jolly Rancher- He's from LIONCLAN? Can we get your paw-tograph? Draco Malfoy: Wait- you need space suits- and why can you talk? AHHH ANIMAGUS!! Cats: *confused* Leafpool: *gets sucked out of space into alternate dimension* Sorreltail: Eh, who cares? Not like anyone ever liked her. Thornclaw: *confused* Weren't you like her biffle before? Sorreltail: I was? Oh well. Looks like the Erins got confused again. Erins: Sorry Sorreltail. *is sad* *publishes another book* Leopardkit: *searches online spoilers* OMG GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS? THE BOOK IS ABOUT A WARRIORS CHRISTMAS! LET'S SUE FOR COPYRIGHT! WFFW: Uh, Leppy? The could probably sue us for copyrighting that. Leppy: *is sad* --I'm ready for Christmas! 02:50, December 11, 2010 (UTC) Leapordkit: WHY?? Lionblaze: WE'RE AT PIGFARTS! Everyone except Leapordkit and Lionblaze: 'Changes into pigs' 'gets sucked up by a portal' Leapordkit: NUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! Lionblaze: YAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! 'A random spirit appears' Spirit: Hello, my name is flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle. Leapordkit and Lionblaze: You stink. flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle: YOU'RE MEAN! Anyway, you have to do exaciy what I tell you. First, you have to get the flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle. Second, you have to go to the temple of flhrnuauhaceuhr triangles. Third, you have to go and get the big flhrnuau- Leapordkit: WHY DOES EVERY THING IS NAMED FLHRNUAUHACEUHR TRIANCLE?!?!? Lionblaze: I'm sick of this. SUPER POWERS ACTIVATE! flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle: 'Turns into a pig' Everyone: 'comes back normal' YAY!!!! flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle: U-OH! Everyone: 'Makes a meal made out of flhrnuauhaceuhr triangle pig meat' LET"S DIG! Was that good? Thundersplash2020 (talk) 12:02, November 7, 2013 (UTC) Firestar:GAISGAISGAIS GUESS WHAT!???? Sandstorm: WhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Firestar: I said guess, which means you're supposed to guess what. Bumblestripe: I shall guess what! *Reads from scroll* Thou shalt show us a firey tree of colored light, and shalt decree a celebration! Lionblaze: Again, in English please? Bumblestripe: I don't know what thou's kind calleth "English." Thoueth needeth to speaketh clearer. Eth. Lionblaze: Again in Catish, please, then! Firestar: ERMAGURD SHUT THE CANDY CANE UP! Clan: Whuzza candy cane? Firestar: Hold on a sec. *Whistles* C'mere, Jangle! COME HERE, my little Jangly Jingly.... *Reindeer comes up and kicks Firestar in the rump* Bumblestripe: *Now in a western accent.* Why'd yawl go and call him a stewpid nayme like "Jangle?" Firestar: Because the guys up at the North Pole was going to sue me if I named him "Donner." Now, Jangle, use your magical rainbow powers to transport us to my suprise! *Jangle uses rainbow powers to teleport the clan to a lit-up Christmas tree* AT THE X-MAS TREE... Firestar: *Has been explaining* And that's how Christmas was made! Bumblestripe: *Talking like Snoop Dog* Man, I dunno what yo talkin' 'bout, man, know whutimsayin? Jangle: Hey, Sparky, come check this out! Firestar: I AM NOT SPARKY! Jangle: Oh, of course not! Sorry. You're Rusty. Firestar: NOT ANYMORE. *Mauls* Jangle: *Points with horribly mangled hoof to Santa's sleigh team* Clan: OMG SANTA! Sandstorm: Yay! I'm finally in this spoof! Lionblaze: NO! Get out of sight! *Yoinks her back with cane* Firestar: Santa! Whad'ya bring meh! See! I lit up the tree! *Tree is not a burned, charred stump.* Santa: Ho, ho, no!!!!!! You just burned the oldest tree in the world down! Bumblestripe: Duz it look leik we care, Santa, know whatimsayin? Santa: You are all now under arrest for... Firestar: Burning a tree down? Santa: No, for naming you're Reindeer Jangle. He's actually an undercover agent. So am I. *Rips off suit to reveal a police uniform* Now get on that Christmas-themed jail truck! Clan: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU! wait... YAAAAAAY! It's made of gingerbread! Firestar: JAILBREAK! That was reeeeeealy bad, I know. But hey. I've been drained lately. 22:12, November 7, 2013 (UTC) Category:Fan Fictions